First dates can be nerve-wracking enough without adding food mishaps into the mix! Making a good impression often hinges on what you order at that fancy restaurant.
From messy sauces to breath-destroying ingredients, some menu choices practically guarantee an awkward evening.
Here’s my hilarious rundown of ten foods that might just sabotage your romantic prospects faster than you can say “check, please!”
1. Spaghetti With Red Sauce
Ever tried looking sophisticated while slurping noodles? Impossible! Those sneaky strands have a knack for whipping sauce onto your crisp white shirt or, worse, your date’s designer outfit.
Tomato stains become permanent souvenirs of your disastrous evening. Skip the Italian nightmare and save yourself from resembling a crime scene by dessert time!
2. Garlic-Heavy Dishes
Garlic bread might tantalize your taste buds, but it’ll murder any chance of a goodnight kiss! That pungent aroma lingers for hours, transforming your breath into a vampire-repelling weapon.
No amount of mints can fully combat garlic’s stubborn staying power. Unless your date shares your passion for this aromatic bulb, perhaps save the garlic fest for solo dining adventures.
3. Corn On The Cob
What if I told you that gnawing corn sideways like a typewriter carriage makes you look absolutely ridiculous? Those pesky kernels lodge between teeth, creating tiny yellow billboards advertising your poor menu choice.
How embarrassing to chat animatedly while sporting corn confetti in your smile! Leave this summer barbecue staple for the fifth date when dignity is less crucial.
4. Extremely Spicy Food
Bravely ordered the five-alarm curry? Prepare for streaming eyes, a runny nose, and the attractive sound of desperate sniffling! Though you intended to appear adventurous, instead you’re frantically chugging water while your makeup melts away.
Your date will remember not your witty banter but your tomato-red face gasping for relief. Perhaps save the spice tolerance competition for less romantic occasions!
5. Ribs And Wings
Finger-licking good? More like finger-licking mortifying! These saucy meat treats require abandoning all pretense of sophistication as you tear into them like a ravenous wolf.
Sauce inevitably decorates your chin while bones pile up like trophies of your barbaric feast. Unless your date specifically suggested a sports bar, perhaps postpone your caveman dining style until relationship foundations are firmly established.
6. Giant Burgers
Massive, towering burgers practically scream “watch me dislocate my jaw!” The impossible architecture of these meat skyscrapers guarantees an unflattering eating experience – squishing, dripping, and inevitable collapse.
Hence, your elegant outfit becomes a canvas for special sauce artwork. Though tempting, perhaps select food that doesn’t require unhinging your mandible like a python swallowing prey!
7. Pungent Cheese Platters
Fancy yourself a cultured cheese connoisseur? That blue-veined delicacy might impress your palate but will terrorize your breath! Those funky fermented milk products create an aroma that lingers with zombie-like persistence.
Where’s the romance when you’re exhaling essence of gym sock? Tragically, even the most sophisticated cheese selections can transform you into a walking biological weapon that keeps your date at arm’s length!
8. Whole Lobster Or Crab
Nothing says “I’m worth it” like donning a plastic bib and wielding metal crackers like medieval torture devices! Cracking, prying, and digging through exoskeletons creates a spectacle of determination rather than romance.
Shell shrapnel flies while butter drips down your wrists in a display that’s more comedy than seduction. Seafood lovers beware – save these laborious creatures for dates who’ve already committed to your quirky dining habits!
9. Notoriously Smelly Foods
Ordering that durian dessert or kimchi special? Bold move, cotton! These aromatic powerhouses announce themselves to everyone within fifty feet, making your table the olfactory center of attention.
Though delicious, these pungent delicacies create an invisible cloud that follows you throughout the evening. Your date might appreciate your adventurous palate while simultaneously planning their fragrant escape!
10. Supersized Leafy Salads
Attempting to appear health-conscious? Those unwieldy salad leaves become treacherous face-slappers! Impossibly large lettuce pieces require either ungraceful stuffing or awkward cutting while your date watches this vegetable wrestling match.
Dressing inevitably splatters as you battle rogue cherry tomatoes across the table. Ironically, your virtuous food choice becomes the messiest option on the menu. Share your green commitment on dates three through infinity instead!