Let’s be real: some cocktails are just a bad idea. Bars have their dark secrets, and no, it’s not the dim lighting. Cheap cocktails often hide inferior ingredients behind flashy colors and fun umbrellas. Sure, they may save you a buck, but your taste buds might have some complaints.
In this list, we’re uncovering 17 budget-friendly cocktails that you might want to skip ordering at your favorite watering hole. Ready for a cocktail confessional?
1. Long Island Iced Tea
Why mix every liquor under the sun and call it a drink? Long Island Iced Tea does just that, with gin, vodka, rum, tequila, and triple sec vying for attention. The result?
A hangover in a glass. Its only redeeming quality is the cola, which tries to mask the chaos. Just because it’s cheap doesn’t mean it’s cheerful. Skip the Long Island and save your liver from this liquid confusion.
2. AMF (Adios Motherf*****)
The AMF wears its name like a warning label. It’s as blue as the ocean and as potent as a tidal wave. With a mix of every clear spirit and a splash of blue curaçao, it’s a recipe for memory loss.
Sure, it looks pretty, but it’s the siren of cheap cocktails. One sip and you might forget your own name.
3. Tequila Sunrise
Sunrise in a glass? More like a sunset on your taste buds. The Tequila Sunrise mixes tequila with orange juice and grenadine, creating a sugary sunrise that might as well set on your palate.
It’s pretty to look at, sure, but each sip is a step closer to regret. With orange juice dominating, the tequila lurks behind, waiting to surprise.
4. Sex On The Beach
This cocktail’s name overpromises and underdelivers. Sex on the Beach sounds like a summer dream but tastes like a sugary nightmare.
Vodka, peach schnapps, cranberry, and orange juice mix to create a candy-like concoction that’s more trick than treat. The flavors clash like tourists at a crowded beach.
5. Blue Lagoon
Ever dreamt of sipping mouthwash? Enter the Blue Lagoon. With vodka, blue curaçao, and lemonade, it’s essentially a citrus-flavored antiseptic. The color distracts from the fact it tastes like a dental appointment.
It’s visually striking, but that’s where the charm ends. While it might make for a fun social media post, your taste buds deserve better.
6. Screwdriver
Orange juice and vodka; sounds simple enough, right? But the Screwdriver is a classic case of simplicity gone stale. It’s the drink equivalent of wearing pajamas to a black-tie event.
While it’s a staple for brunch-goers and college parties, the lack of creativity is palpable. The orange juice overpowers, leaving the vodka to sulk in the background.
7. Rum And Coke
The cocktail world’s equivalent of a comfort food, but sometimes comfort can be too predictable. It’s a drink that’s safe, familiar, and utterly uninspiring.
This duo of dark rum and cola is best suited for those unwilling to stray from the safety net of simplicity. While it’s reliable, it’s also forgettable.
8. Appletini
The candy of the cocktail world. Sweet, vibrant, and a little too alluring for its own good. This neon green potion is more apple-flavored syrup than apple martini.
It might sparkle in the glass, but it fizzles on the palate. With a sugar rush that rivals a candy store, it’s more dessert than drink.
9. Mudslide
If you’ve ever wished your milkshake had a little more kick, the Mudslide is for you. It’s dessert disguised as a cocktail, mixing vodka, Kahlúa, and Irish cream into a creamy concoction.
While it’s a sweet indulgence, it’s more suited for dessert than a night out. The rich, chocolatey flavor might win over your sweet tooth, but it’s unlikely to satisfy your cocktail craving.
10. Whiskey Sour
A cocktail with an identity crisis. It wants to be taken seriously but ends up tasting like a lemony afterthought. The mix of whiskey, lemon juice, and sugar might seem sophisticated, yet it often falls flat.
The tart lemon overpowers, sidelining the whiskey. While it holds a place in cocktail history, it’s not the drink to order if you’re looking to impress.
11. Jungle Juice
Wild child of the cocktail family. A concoction of whatever’s left in the liquor cabinet, mixed with fruit juices and soda. It’s less of a recipe and more of a gamble.
The unpredictable mix can range from delightful to disastrous, usually leaning towards the latter. Drinking it is like playing a game of flavor roulette.
12. Fuzzy Navel
Fuzzy Navel sounds like a cozy sweater but tastes like a fruit stand explosion. The mix of peach schnapps and orange juice is sweet, simple, and a little too safe.
While it might appeal to those new to cocktails, seasoned drinkers will find it lacks depth. Its one-dimensional flavor is more suited to a lazy summer afternoon than a night on the town.
13. Gin And Tonic
Gin and Tonic is the tuxedo of cocktails—classic but occasionally boring. The sharp bite of gin meets the fizzy embrace of tonic, a duo that’s older than time. While it’s elegant, it’s also predictable.
For those with adventurous palates, this combination might feel too refined for its own good. It’s a safe choice, but why settle for safe?.
14. Vodka Cranberry
Vodka Cranberry is the wallflower of cocktails. With just vodka and cranberry juice, it’s the shy sibling among bolder drinks.
While it’s reliable, it’s also unremarkable. The tartness of cranberry masks the vodka, resulting in a drink that’s more juice box than cocktail. If you’re looking for something with pizzazz, the Vodka Cranberry isn’t it.
15. Cosmopolitan
The toast of the ’90s, a pink-hued symbol of sophistication. But time hasn’t been kind to this mix of vodka, triple sec, cranberry, and lime. Once the darling of city bars, it now feels like a relic.
It promises glamour but often delivers mediocrity. The tart cranberry overpowers, leaving the other ingredients to play second fiddle.
16. Pina Colada
Vacation in a glass, but sometimes vacations go awry. The creamy blend of rum, coconut, and pineapple is sweet and indulgent, teetering on the edge of too much.
While it might transport you to a tropical beach, the sugar crash is never far behind. Its rich flavor is better suited for sipping slowly, not guzzling at the bar.
17. Mai Tai
Mai Tai sounds exotic, but it’s a puzzle of flavors that often don’t fit together. While the mix of rum, orange liqueur, and lime sounds appealing, it frequently ends up tasting like an out-of-tune orchestra.
The tropical promise quickly fades, leaving confusion in its wake. It’s a cocktail that demands balance, something not always found in cheaper versions. Leave the Mai Tai for when you’re actually on an island.