Pizza lovers, beware! Across America, some truly monstrous pizza creations lurk in restaurant menus, loaded with enough calories to make nutritionists cry.
Whether topped with extra cheese, stuffed crusts, or piled high with meats and other indulgent ingredients, these diet-destroying pizzas might be worth the splurge – but your waistline might disagree!
1. The Meat Mountain From Pizza Hut
Holy pepperoni! This beast packs six types of meat including pepperoni, sausage, bacon, ham, beef, and chicken. Weighing in at a whopping 3,670 calories per large pizza, it’s basically an entire day’s worth of calories in eight slices.
What if I told you some brave souls attempt to devour this meat paradise solo? Challenge your friends to split this monstrosity instead of attempting a one-person conquest!
2. Domino’s ExtravaganZZa Feast
Domino’s didn’t hold back when creating this caloric nightmare! Loaded with pepperoni, ham, Italian sausage, beef, onions, green peppers, mushrooms, and extra cheese, each slice delivers approximately 450 calories straight to your belly.
Though the vegetables might trick you into thinking it’s somewhat healthy, don’t be fooled! This pizza contains more fat than three Big Macs combined. Anyone brave enough to share this experience?
3. Chicago’s Giordano’s Deep Dish
If you’ve never faced the towering might of authentic Chicago deep dish, prepare yourself! Giordano’s legendary stuffed pizza isn’t just thick – it’s practically a casserole masquerading as pizza, with layers of cheese hiding beneath tomato sauce.
Ever wondered how many calories hide in that magnificent pie? A single slice can pack upwards of 700 calories! Yet somehow, that doesn’t stop pizza enthusiasts from lining up around the block.
4. Little Caesars’ ExtraMostBestest
Whoever named this pizza wasn’t kidding around! The ExtraMostBestest lives up to its quirky name with extra cheese and pepperoni covering every inch. At roughly 4,000 calories per pizza, it’s certainly the “mostest” in the calorie department.
Remarkably affordable yet dangerously delicious, this pie tempts with its “more is more” philosophy. How many workout sessions would it take to burn off this cheesy delight? Let’s not even calculate that depressing number!
5. Papa John’s Meats XL
Carnivores rejoice and nutritionists weep! Papa John’s meat-lovers dream combines pepperoni, sausage, beef, bacon, and Canadian bacon on their XL crust. A single slice contains roughly 400 calories, making the entire pizza a 3,200-calorie feast.
Where else could you find five different animals represented on one circular food item? The garlic dipping sauce adds another 150 calories per container, but who’s counting at this point? Share your meat pizza stories!
6. California Pizza Kitchen’s Meat Cravers
Don’t let the “California” in the name fool you – there’s nothing light or health-conscious about this indulgent creation! CPK’s Meat Cravers combines pepperoni, sausage, bacon, and prosciutto on their signature thin crust.
Surprisingly, the thin crust doesn’t save you much – each pizza still contains approximately 2,800 calories. Had enough protein for the week? This pizza certainly thinks you haven’t! Tag someone who would demolish this in one sitting!
7. Round Table’s King Arthur’s Supreme
Fit for medieval royalty (with medieval disregard for nutrition), this legendary pizza comes loaded with pepperoni, Italian sausage, salami, linguica, mushrooms, green peppers, onions, black olives, and extra cheese. Whew!
Each large pizza packs around 3,400 calories of pure indulgence. Hence, splitting this pizza among knights of your round table seems wisest! Anyone brave enough to joust with this caloric beast deserves a crown – or perhaps a stretchy waistband.
8. Godfather’s Pizza Jumbo Combo
An offer your diet can’t refuse! This mob-boss of pizzas comes stacked with pepperoni, Italian sausage, beef, onions, black olives, mushrooms, and green peppers on Godfather’s signature thick crust.
Clocking in at nearly 400 calories per slice, the entire jumbo pizza delivers a gut-busting 4,800 calories! Would Don Corleone approve of such excess? Absolutely! Make sure to leave room for the garlic breadsticks – said no nutritionist ever.
9. Uno Pizzeria’s Chicago Classic Deep Dish
The original deep dish pioneer still reigns supreme in the calorie kingdom! Uno’s signature creation features extra cheese, extra sausage, and their famous buttery crust that’s more like pie dough than traditional pizza crust.
Ever tried lifting a slice one-handed? Good luck! Each massive slice weighs in at approximately 770 calories. Though some nutritionists might faint at the sight, pizza purists consider this the holy grail of indulgent pizza experiences.
10. Mountain Mike’s Everest
Aptly named after Earth’s highest peak, this mountain of pizza toppings features pepperoni, Italian sausage, beef, salami, linguica, mushrooms, olives, green peppers, and onions on a massive crust. Talk about a culinary expedition!
Scaling this 3,800-calorie mountain requires serious commitment. However, the flavor combination makes every calorie-laden bite worth the dietary setback. Anyone conquered this pizza Everest without taking home leftovers? We’d love to hear your tale!
11. Sbarro’s NY XL Cheese
Sometimes simplicity packs the biggest caloric punch! Sbarro’s massive New York-style cheese slices have been tempting mall shoppers for decades with their perfect cheese-to-sauce ratio and foldable yet sturdy crust.
Would you believe a single XL slice contains approximately 680 calories? Multiply that by the whole pie and you’re looking at 5,440 calories of cheesy goodness! Yet somehow, watching that cheese stretch as you take a bite makes all dietary concerns momentarily disappear.
12. Papa Murphy’s Cowboy Pizza
Saddle up for a wild calorie ride! This take-and-bake favorite combines pepperoni, Italian sausage, sliced mushrooms, black olives, cheddar, and their herb and cheese blend on a traditional crust.
Yee-haw! Each family-size pizza contains roughly 3,800 calories of frontier-style indulgence. Though technically you bake it at home, Papa Murphy’s can’t save you from the nutritional impact. Anyone brave enough to lasso this pizza beast deserves their cowboy credentials!
13. Cici’s Macaroni And Cheese Pizza
What happens when you combine two comfort foods into one outrageous creation? Cici’s answered with their infamous mac and cheese pizza – literally macaroni and cheese baked onto a pizza crust.
As if regular pizza wasn’t caloric enough! Each slice delivers approximately 330 calories, with a whole pizza reaching 2,640 calories. What mad culinary scientist dreamed up this carb-on-carb masterpiece? Whoever they are, dieters everywhere are simultaneously cursing and thanking them!
14. Chuck E. Cheese’s Super Cheese Pizza
Childhood nostalgia meets adult calorie concerns! Behind the arcade games and animatronic entertainment lurks a surprisingly indulgent pizza loaded with three types of cheese – mozzarella, provolone, and parmesan.
Guess how many calories hide in this childhood favorite? A large pizza contains approximately 2,840 calories of pure cheesy delight! Though designed with kids in mind, adults find themselves sneaking slices between skee-ball rounds. Share your favorite Chuck E. Cheese memory!
15. BJ’s Brewhouse Pepperoni Extreme
Extreme isn’t just in the name – it’s in the calorie count too! BJ’s signature deep dish crust comes topped with obscene amounts of pepperoni and their five-cheese blend, creating a pizza that’s both beautiful and terrifying to nutritionists.
Brace yourself for the damage: approximately 390 calories per slice, totaling 3,120 for the entire pizza! Despite the caloric consequences, the combination of crispy pepperoni edges and that signature BJ’s deep dish texture keeps fans coming back. Worth every delicious calorie?