Easter without Peeps is like Christmas without candy canes—a missed opportunity to indulge in sugary, marshmallowy goodness. But not all Peeps are created equal. Some flavors, in our humble yet brutally honest opinion, should remain on the store shelves.
Our taste test journey led us through a kaleidoscope of flavors, from the bizarre to the downright unpalatable. If you’re considering filling your Easter basket with Peeps, let us steer you away from these unfortunate choices.
1. Sour Watermelon
Why would you want your Easter treat to make you squint like you just sucked on a lemon? Sour Watermelon Peeps are the sour candy equivalent of a slap in the face.
Not in the fun, wake-you-up kind of way. Imagine biting into a marshmallow expecting sugary bliss, only to be hit by a wall of tartness that’s more shocking than a surprise April snowstorm.
2. Cotton Candy
Cotton Candy Peeps try to capture the essence of the carnival, but end up tasting like a sugar crash waiting to happen. The first bite delivers an overwhelming sweetness, lacking the airy, melt-in-your-mouth texture of real cotton candy.
Instead, you’re left with a marshmallow that sticks to your teeth like bubblegum on a hot sidewalk. If nostalgia had a flavor, it would probably protest against this overly saccharine imposter.
3. Fruit Punch
How does one even begin to describe the taste of artificial fruit punch in marshmallow form? Imagine a sugary tsunami of fake tropical flavors that crashes into your mouth, leaving behind a sticky residue of regret.
These Peeps are a reminder that some things are better left in the drink aisle. The neon color might draw you in like a moth to a flame.
4. Pancakes & Syrup
Breakfast-flavored disaster masquerading as a treat. At first glance, they promise the warmth of a Sunday morning brunch, but one bite reveals a cloying artificial syrup taste that lingers longer than an unwanted guest.
Instead of fluffy pancakes, you’re left with a chewy reminder of why some flavors shouldn’t be marshmallowized. These Peeps leave you longing for the real deal.
5. Blue Raspberry
Embodiment of candy confusion. They lure you in with their vibrant hue, but the flavor is a harsh reminder that blue raspberry isn’t a real fruit. Instead, you get a burst of synthetic berry.
These Peeps are as blue as they come, but don’t let the color fool you into expecting anything natural. They’re a stark contrast to the subtlety of actual raspberries.
6. Bubble Gum
Bubble Gum Peeps are the candy equivalent of a joke that falls flat. The idea seems fun, but the reality is a chewy marshmallow that tastes like a bubblegum mishap.
The flavor hovers somewhere between children’s toothpaste and a failed attempt at novelty. Instead of a sweet treat, you’re left with a lingering aftertaste that’s reminiscent of stuck gum on a shoe.
7. Hot Tamales
They bring the heat in the most unexpected way. If you’ve ever thought your marshmallows needed a dash of cinnamon fire, these might be for you.
But for most, this flavor twist is as confusing as it sounds. The spice hits your tongue with the subtlety of a flamethrower, overshadowing any trace of marshmallow sweetness. These Peeps are more suited for a dare than a dessert.
8. Party Cake
Party Cake Peeps promise a celebration but deliver a disappointment. The flavor tries to mimic the joy of a birthday cake but ends up tasting like an artificial party foul.
With each bite, you’re met with an aggressively sweet vanilla that feels more like a sugar bomb than a treat. Instead of confetti and fun, you’re left with a synthetic aftertaste that overstays its welcome.
9. Coconut Delight
Coconut Delight Peeps attempt to whisk you away to a tropical paradise, but end up stranded on a deserted flavor island. The coconut taste comes through faintly, overshadowed by the sweetness of the marshmallow.
It’s like holding a piña colada without the joy—just a hint of coconut amidst a sea of sugar. These Peeps leave you yearning for a real beach vacation rather than this half-hearted escape.
10. Gingerbread
Christmas flavor lost in the wrong season. They carry the scent of ginger and spice, but in the context of Easter, it feels like wearing a winter coat in July.
The flavor profile is rich with holiday cheer, yet it clashes with the springtime festivities. If you’re feeling nostalgic for the winter months, these might just do the trick, but for those embracing Easter, it’s a flavor faux pas.
11. Lemonade
Perplexing blend of tart and sweet that feels more like a summer refreshment gone wrong. The citrusy tang is too sharp for a marshmallow, creating a flavor imbalance that doesn’t sit well on the palate.
Picture sipping on lemonade, then realizing it’s been marshmallowized into an Easter treat—an experiment that should’ve stayed in the lab. .
12. Chocolate Mousse
Chocolate Mousse Peeps sound like a chocolate lover’s dream, but the execution is more nightmare than fantasy. The flavor attempts to mimic the decadence of mousse.
It falls flat with an artificial chocolate taste. Instead of the smooth, rich indulgence you crave, you’re met with a marshmallow that’s trying too hard. The result is a jarring chocolate experience.
13. Root Beer Float
The marshmallow equivalent of a soda fountain experiment gone wrong. The attempt to capture the classic root beer and vanilla ice cream blend results in a flavor that’s as flat as day-old pop.
The sweetness overpowers any hint of creaminess, leaving a lingering taste of disappointment. Instead of a bubbly, refreshing treat, you’re left with a marshmallow that confuses the palate more than it delights.
14. Pumpkin Spice
Fall favorite misplaced in the Easter lineup. They bring the warmth of cinnamon and nutmeg, but the timing is all wrong.
Instead of evoking cozy autumn vibes, these Peeps feel out of place amidst pastel eggs and spring blooms. The flavor is more reminiscent of a pumpkin patch than an Easter basket, creating a confusing seasonal blend.
15. Neapolitan
Neapolitan Peeps strive to capture the classic ice cream trio, but they fall short by a long shot. The strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla flavors clash rather than complement, resulting in a taste that’s more chaotic than creamy.
It’s as if the Peeps can’t decide which flavor to be, leaving you with a muddled marshmallow mess. The promise of a balanced ice cream delight turns into a confusing bite.